Characters: Celia, El Don, Julio, Lisa

Throughout this project is describing the difficulties throughout different countries of sex trading. Including a young boy who is confused and corrupted. The processes of drugging, difficulties, and guilt through sex slaves and sex slave owners. And the differences between each individual's daily life.

Reflecting upon the past and identifying significant experiences. Past incidents have begun to surface in the last few days, evoking innumerable feelings. Because this is not a diary, I will conclude this post.

Coming up with a story to tell every tuesday isn't very easy for someone who keeps everything in. Now we have the topic 'pain' and I'm trying to figure out where to take that. I don't know; I've spent so long NOT telling anyone about these snippets of my life to having to everyone for a grade. I don't mind it, I just need the time to plan this out right. 

Dear Prom, 
I hate you. I don't really, but I want to. You cause too much drama. You draw up too many emotions. You hurt feelings, bruise confidences, and confuse or frustrate everyone in your path. You know what? Let's fight. You give me the time and the place and I'll be there. Well, I'll try to. Hopefully, I'll make it. 

Lenea 

Yesterday was very busy. I woke up to help my friend fix his bike but before that my brother bought me a new xbox live subscription along with a TurtleBeach headset. After me and my friend spend a quite tedious 2 hours fixing the bike, we went 30 miles around Pennypack Park. We even biked to the gym and worked out our arms. So yeah it was pretty intense. Then I quickly took a shower and went to Neshaminy to celebrate Taylor's birthday.

There were times when everything almost seemed ok, and there were times when everything seemed lost. It was around one of those times when everything seemed lost, and that’s why I didn’t kill john for waking me up. Its not that I didn’t like his idea, but it was not something I should have been woken up for, its hard enough trying to fall asleep let alone going back to it.

            After i jumped up with my gun and went into another section of the store with him, he quickly explained what he wanted with me “ its almost Christmas, and we don’t have a tree, or anything. I think after all we have been through we deserve a good Christmas.”

            I stared at him for a moment not really believing what he was asking me. I almost laughed but held it in. “john are you ok?” I knew he was serious so I didn’t even bother to ask.

            “yes,…well no..but that’s the point no one is really “ok”…. after we all saw ant and ally die….and then Nicole…that could have been any of us…. something died in all of us.” 

            Pain came into my thoughts as he said the word Nicole, I nodded “we all felt it john, the odd indescribable feeling, like we lost part of our selfs.”  I thought for a second and considered a Christmas in this place. It would be nice. “ok whats the plan to make this work?”

            “fade and gannon the cannon, they have been out there for a while, they know how to live out there, and they agreed to help us, only us four know about it.” I nodded. So far it seemed like a good idea, no one would argue that gannon and fade kick ass.

            “how do we know what to get people?”

            “ask, no one would actually expect anything, so just ask hypothetically” I nodded, this would work somehow, john was right. We needed to spread joy around here.

 

            Over the next few days we all get ready for going out, we asked people casually what they wanted.

            I almost cried when Eve and Dan both asked to see Dad, I did not know what to do. I think deep down they understood, but refused to believe their feelings “im sorry, but I don’t think dads going to make it this year” I told them they complained but they stopped when they saw my eyes starting to tear. They both hugged me.

            After a few days of, me and john, just asking everyone what they want we decided that we were ready. “a lot of sad answers, things we can’t actually get them”

             we both had  to ask our friends what they wanted, and we both got answers that upset us. It was still a while before Christmas, about a week and a half, but we wanted to get the shopping done early. The plan was that we would be ready in two days, we would all have different weapons, although fade insisted on using his sword, because it did not run out of ammo, and no one argued, after all he had a point. We all met in the weapons storage section of the store, where are the unused weapons were being used.  Gannon still had his glock 18, and happily found another one and loaded up on a lot of clips, John picked up a Simi-automatic rifle with a small scope, probably an acog I didn’t really look at it well enough, and of course his side arm, a glock 19. I wanted to use a shotgun, I grabbed a 20 gauge , figuring the 12 gauge would be too heavy, and there is only a slight difference in killing power. And of course my dads glock 19 with two clips.

            “damn, it would be fun to be using a world war two weapon now” I said out loud as I was viewing all the different rifles.

            “world war two?” Gannon asked curiously hearing this

            “yeah, its my favorite war…I was a war buff before the zombies” he looked at me and smirked

            “yeah, but that’s all teenage boys these days, I know I was…but world war two huh? That’s interesting”

            “yeah...”

So this project is mainly about modernization. The issue with people these days is that we believe if a place doesn't have wifi or the latest iPhone that we need to fix them and make them like us. A place that modernization hit hard is Ladakh. Ladakh was once this peaceful place that kept quiet and away from the outside world in Tibet, but then we moved ourselves in. Except for making it better we made their little place worse and worse… So thats practically my project.                                                           

 

Ablae Angmo- Is a man around the age of 32, he is against the westernization, km he is a very confused man and loves to allow his points to get through to everyone that he believes matter and why he thinks everyone should follow his lead. He is about 5’4” and he wears only hand made clothes, which his wife Reni has made. He lives far from the Ladakh now culture. He walks miles away form his home to go get some clean water. He is frustrated, very angry, and finding a lot of things funny

 

Francis Angmo- His Wife- A quiet woman, very soft spoken. Doesn’t agree with her husband at all. She believes he is just going through a mid life crisis and just hates change. The move is driving her family apart.

 

Taylor Angmo- His Daughter- Frustrated at her parents that she had to lose all of her friends and move away. She is a loud mouth back talking teenager. Westernization started changing her as well as Ladakh. She is 17 and when she turns 18(soon) she plans to run away from her father’s rules. She argues with her father constantly and completely ignores her mother

 

Damian Angmo- His Son- Quiet seven-year-old child. Very respectable but very curious. He is not as spoiled as his older sister, he’s confused about the move but doesn’t say much to the family. He keeps to himself in a little room in their current home.

 

Jacob Angmo- His Brother- Ablaes older brother; Very strict and is not accepting westernization. He is not a stubborn as his little brother he’d rather

 

Sunset Angmo- His wifes sister-

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Act I Scene I

Ablae Angmo

 

(Ablae is pacing outside and he seems ticked off about something. He’s acting like he is doing something productive but really he is not. He secretly is watching his wife making sure that she is fine and keeping watch outside for no outsiders. Then a camera crew comes up, asking him questions.)

                       

(Beginning)

 

Yeah, I believe I can talk to someone... How personal is this going to get... Well I'm not willing get personal... my opinion.. Yeah of course I can share that... I don’t understand why every time something happens they believe we need the fixing.. Fixing what, what’s wrong with the way we chose to live our lives.. We were pure and educated the way we were... Explain?... See when we first started out Ladakh was the most beautiful place ever. No one and I mean no one threw trash anywhere. The water was purified and clean. The land oh was it so clean... The dirt we could eat our food off of it... When i lived there I was your regular Ladakh farmer... A wife, children, beautiful home, nothing would've been better then this... When people in other country thought of our Ladakh as a undeveloped place which all children lived in rags and such is when westernization started taking place... In my eyes westernization is the change of my world and my cultures world into something so horrid the gods probably turned their heads and no longer look down upon us.  First, came the people, lined one by one like we were a circus. Then came the workers the builders, then after they started coming is when we started… well I started packing.. Stay? Why would I stay there… they meant to make us better?… if ruining the way people do everything and polluting our land is called making us better then yes they made us very better… I'm not stubborn… I don't understand what they're doing… no I don’t really know any background from what there doing.. I know they came out of nowhere...but... know what you just don't understand me!… I think this interview is over.. Good-bye to you

 

 

 

            Act I Scene II

 

Francis Angmo

 

(Wife is sitting in a chair with a handful of laundry. She is humming a beautiful song while folding clothes.)

                                   

He’s such a reactive person.. I loved Ladakh, a place of fun and family... Yeah I agree with that we were different before they came... Transportation and people too... No not all are bad things, well not all of the things... Of course I still want to go back, it’s so quiet out here at night and I dearly miss my family... Well the move really wasn’t my choice.. He’s the man.. Well in my culture we follow what the males orders are.. Yeah, there the leaders of the pack, when he dies Damian will be the leader... I just wish things would go back to where they were I want to go home...it effects me because no one has been the same since after the move.. All the kids changed.. They don't even talk to us anymore... Forgiveness?... They don’t want to forgive us.. No I don’t think it was I... Yeah.... My husband... He’s real stubborn.. He never lets our family have fun anymore... He’s so different now... He thinks were going to turn on him and leave... I don’t understand... Yeah well … I don’t think... No why would you... well good he needs to know what was said.. I personally think westernization isn’t that bad.. I talk to my sister... through mail.. We talk about all the changes.. They’re waiting for us to come on back home

 

 

Act I Scene III

 

                                                Damian Angmo

 

(Sitting in his room alone, little Damian no older then seven. He’s playing with some kind of doll singing quietly to himself sitting on the floor. He notices the door creak open he drops his stuff and slowly turns around, almost frightened)

 

..He..Hello... my name’s Damian.. Ye..yeah .. Nice to meet you... may I ask why your here... oh int....

(sounds it out)

in-ter- view.. Okay.. I’m fine with it... old?. I.. I’m not old... oh my age seven in two eighths.. Yeah I’ll be eight soon.. How “ool..ld” are you.. That’s pretty old Mr... I don’t think... oh why am I here?.... I don’t feel comfortable...around...them..They...aren’t the same... my dads always grumpy.. Tayy doesn’t play any games anymore.. We use to play everything... tag, duck duck goose, hide and go seek... We use to play at this park type of thing..Well mines were really nice..We lived around a lot of family friends and stuff... I do miss my old home..i didn’t have that many friends... they all thought i was weird.. i’m not that talkative... i just..get nervous around big crowds... i’m afraid they might hurt me.. or judge me... no i’m not self con-sc-i-ence... my mom said it meant confident... confidence is like liking yourself a lot... it’s not.. oh, that’s cool i guess... mothers been stressed... she’s worried about my father..westernization just changed the whole town...we were independent but then the people came and yeah..

(mother calls him to dinner)

 

 I’m sorrry.. I have to go eat, but we’ll finish talking some other time

 

            Act I Scene IIII

Taylor Angmo

 

(Taylor is dancing in her room to this new song that her friend had told her about, she seems like an outgoing nice person until she hears a knock on her door. Her whole demeanor changes and she goes to looking annoyed and starts to turn a light red color. She answers her door and notices it is not anyone from her family then her mood changes back to that nice, outgoing way.)

 

Hello

(She says with a smile)

I’m Taylor and you guys are?.. Nice to meet you.. Interview? Sure, I wouldn’t mind that at all... I’m Seventeen.. Weeellllll I love Ladakh... Yup, born and raised

(she grins with pride)

My mother tells me westernization is to help our beautiful Ladakh, my father thinks other wise.. He thinks that westernization is something to ruin Ladakh. He thinks the people are messing up our pride lands and angering our gods. I think other wise, i think westernization is adding more fun to our plan old boring Ladakh. Yeah i loved it there but i always wanted more. I had always wanted that extra push, something to keep us in contact with the outside world... Well we were “isolated” but come on you hear things people travel sometimes people write to other people... We were modern but not as “modern” that everyone else in the world was..  I love when i see Ladakh now, they have eevveerryytthhiinngg!... No, Where’s America?.. Wow that’s pretty far... Nope i never seen or heard anything about them.. Wow really?.. All day shopping and no curfew?? i would love that so much!

(At  part since Taylor only has a few months to count as a child in America the interviewers are trying to persuade her to go back with them after they leave their voyage through the culture of Ladakh).

 

 I don’t think my parents would let me go that far... In Ladakh we all stay close to our families... Yeah even through marriage, I know that is a lot... well I dont mind my culture its just I need more to make me feel complete...my family is annoying now..its like she agrees with his choice...she would say that...damian? Hes fine I guess...i dont really find time for him anymore...I've just been really pissed...at night... yeah, sometimes I sneak out go back to Ladakh...all my friends are there... i just wanted to see them.. When i go there they catch me up on the news.. Yeah like whats new, what’s in style and things like that..  if my parents found out they would probably be really angry... yeah, i bet my dad would be on ground duty more, he probably would watch everything i do at every time of the day... My dads getting old, he wont be able to walk soon. He’s already having problems walking now... I figure that after a while he’ll just give up and let us do what ever we want... I think my family should be out of the eating area by now.. yeah, i’m really hungry.. would you guys like something to eat i’ll bring you something... no? okay well i’m going to sneak some food, are you guys staying?.. okay i’ll show you guys out i guess

(walks towards the front of the home and lets the visitors out)

 Bye you guys

(she smiles then walks away)

(After Visitors Leave)

            Hopefully no one finds out what i told them. I think i said too much. That was so stupid, what if they go and tell my father what i said. I would really be in big trouble. When they asked me to go with them to this America place i was the most terrified. Isn’t against some law that they cant offer to take people from their homes. That whole conversation got me really lost. ;

 

Act II Scene I

Ablae Angmo

 

(Ablae is ranting because he has just found that Taylor has eaten again after the family has been off to bed. In Ablae’s house he had clearly stated that they eat as a family or they do not eat at all, and Taylor broken this rule. This is not the first time, but it is the first time Ablae is going to settle this problem.)

 

She’s been here, i know she had to been. Nothing seems to be in place now; she snuck our food again too didn’t she. I’m getting sick and tired of her and her restraint against the house rules. I need to protect my family and she is going against everything that will help her grow and prosper to a great and intelligent young woman. I need to set a limit and it stops here. Going to her and telling her what’s going to happen is the biggest way and thing that is going to effect the way this relationship is going.

   

            YOU OUTSIDE NOW!... I’m done with your resistance.. I am your father.. i am the leader of the pack and you you are not... you are last one the list.. It’s me, Damian, Your mother, Then you all the way at the end.. This means we rule over you.. I’m not going to take no more of you.. You will follow my rules or there will be dire consequences.. Remember that story of Chumur gonpa.... okay... Let’s start over.. sit.. lets meditate..

 

(They both sit on the ground in front of each other cross their legs then start)

 

hmmmmmmm....uhmmmmmm...hmmmmmmm...uhmmmmm......you know me and your mother love you, if not we do. The rules i made were we all eat together pray together and sleep at the same time. I do not mean to push it, because i know you are upset with me, but i want you guys to be raised as i had been. Pure, i wanted you guys to be complete Ladakh born and raised children.. I wanted your brother to get married off, i wanted you to get married off... Yes, i know you could have had a chance to but your whole perspective of Ladakh would've changed too.. I did not want that to happen. Your my child and as my child you were a gift to me from Leh, you are here for me to protect you until you blossom to protect your self.. Ladakh is a dangerous place for you in my eyes now, i do not think that it would be a safe choice to allow you to do that... If you promise to stay safe and my pure little girl then yes you may, but you must ask your mother, you was her gift also.. Night. 

 

            Act II Scene II

                                                             Damian Angmo

(Damian starts off, he is kind of having a little panic attack. His father isn’t aware of it but damian hears everything he says to his sister. He’s terrified and believes that it couldn’t get any worse then how its going.)

 

Ahh.. I don’t like this.. I don’t like this at all… Why is daddy yelling… I don’t like when my family is so angry, anger is scary and it makes the gods angry and upset because we are not being positive... Daddy hasn’t been the perfect Ladakhen, he has been really controlling over the whole family and his positivity and gracefulness had lowered down to close to nothing.. Well damian i guess all you have is you. Just like the loners I always hear about. Maybe if you can get the family together one by one you could make happy with everyone.i should start easy like Taylor, then mommy, last daddy..

(Damian breaks out into tears)

 I don’t know how i’m going to do this...

 

                                    Ablae Angmo

 

(Change of character. Ablae has finally made up his mind. His family would be better and cooperate together more. He calls everyone into the prayer room)

     

Everyone come in here. We’ve been discussing this for awhile and i believe well we believe, maybe we should go back to Ladakh just for awhile. This may confuse you but the move had effected everyone. I think maybe it would be good for our family if we had left and moved back to Ladakh. As a whole we are separate, since i made the choice to leave Ladakh. So now we’ll take that same path we walked to get away form the real world and walked right back into it.

(The family stops and stares)

 

Yes i am serious... Yes back to our old home. Everyone get all the stuff packed and get ready to leave..Yes Taylor Seriously

 

                        Act III Scene I

                        Sunset Angmo

 

(The Angmo Family is moving back to Ladakh. While on their way there, the other half had already heard the good news(due to the interview crew and Taylor keeping in touch with them) This is Sunset.)

 

            Oh dear i gotta get everything clean. I can not wait until they come home. I miss them dearly. When they come here i’m going to tell them everything that has been going on from the point they left till they got here.

Yes.. of course i’m getting their home ready for them to come on back home.. Its pretty bad, its been inhabited for a while.... Well it seems like some of the animals have gotten into here too..it is... Not real bad but bad enough.. get the kids we may need extra hands..

 

(The other side of the family take exactly 3 days to clean the whole home, and get the Angmo family ready for take off with a full  fill of food and clean water to drink. On the way home the Angmo family is full of smiles hugs and happiness. Even though the family has been okay out of Ladakh they are determined that now moving back to Ladakh will bring on a new life with a good change. After this point it will just be kind of like a summary of what happens in the family’s life when and after they return to Ladakh.- When the family arrives, all the people in Ladakh come to visit them. Everyone is happy and the family is pretty much sure that Ladakh didn’t change as much. No one in the community tells them about the water problem, they just think the water trucks are because they found more pure water, which they can drink from. After a few months, the family has gotten well acquainted.)

 

Act III Scene II

                                                Damian Angmo

 

(It’s around sunrise Damians’ a little late from waking up, he washes his face with some water then heads to get something to eat. After eating Damian goes straight outside with all of his friends.)

 

Mom, im leaving now. I know sunsets and im late.....I’ll be on time this time... pprroommissee..

(5 minutes later)

Hey you guys.. Where are we off to today... oh that’s cool, cause I haven’t been there since when I was younger

(A few minutes after walking. All the kids around him had these water drinking canisters, Damian always figured it was just because it was a new trend or something. Where they were playing was the same place Damian and his sister use to go as a child. )

 Lets play tag..

(A few hours pass)

Thirtsyyy

 (Damian goes to the stream which he drunk out of as a child.)

(takes a sip.)

 ahhhh water,

(takes another and starts to feel ill)

 I need more water I think I'm still thirsty.

(takes another sip)

(Moans)

Maybe I'm hung

 (Throws up)

I think I want to go home now

(Him and his friends exit stage, for him to come in through a door)

 Mommy I don’t feel so

(Throws up again)

 

Act II Scene I

                                               Francis Angmo

 

 

When we first arrived here I thought everything was going to be just fine. Then this happens. Maybe Ablae was right after all. Maybe my family should’ve just stayed where we had stayed for these past months. When push comes to shove family comes first. But when shove came in front of push my little Damian could’ve had a better future then what’s happening to him now. I wish I could just go back in time and find out just what happen between the time I let him go out with his friends and now. I just feel so careless and stupid for letting my child go out there alone with just his friends. I feel as if I should’ve sent Taylor to go look after her younger brother maybe just maybe I should’ve thought twice about my choices. Its just all my fault he’s lie this now.. Just my fault

 

 

(After two weeks he gets worse and worse. His family takes him to the place of prayer, which they all pray for his health. The next day Damian had died.. ):  The family is really sad and regrets coming back to Ladakh. The whole story behind this is Westernization may be good for you but Ladakh is surviving off of everything that you leave them with, and their living with exactly what you leave them with your trash and pollution. Westernization is ruining places like this so that people can have what they have, which they aren’t they’re changing what they had. Stop Westernization and save children like Damian. )

 

 

I have been thinking a lot lately about graduating.  For some reason, I have been coming across many photos of SLA's first graduation and it is making me so excited and nervous at the same time!  I keep wondering what it's going to feel like standing at TFI with parents clapping and gazing upon us in joy.  I wonder how many of us are going to cry, and whether any of us will keep in touch long after high school has ended.  After four years, we have all changed so much in our own, unique ways.  Each and everyone of us have grown up and discovered ourselves.  Whether we dealt with a terrible break-up or failed a few classes, we have determined our strengths and weaknesses through experience.  And I think that's what high school is all about. 

A part of me is scared to start a new chapter of my life.  It feels like this graduation, which is happening in a little over two months, marks the defining line between childhood and adulthood.  And I'm not so sure if I am ready for it.  But I guess I kind of have to be, right?

https://docs.google.com/present/edit?id=0AZ1wSywVeEiVZGdmdHdtc3dfMzVmY3djZ2dkNQ&hl=en

I was freaking out this morning. I couldn't find my phone. I was running all over the house like a headless chicken looking for it. I traced all my steps and looked at all the places where I was last night at my house. I searched under the couch, in the living room, in my bed, all over my desk; which is piled with junk, in the kitchen, in my backpack, and in my suitcase. I just simply couldn't find it. I wanted to call it, but nobody else was home and I don't have a home phone. I was pacing back and forth thinking of how dumb I was. This always happens to me. I was really frustrated with myself and started looking furiously for my phone. It wasn't even a good search I was just hopelessly trying to find it. I was looking in places where I knew my phone wouldn't be. This is my angry search. I look in all these pointless places, throw papers and other shit around, curse to myself, and never find my phone. It's a huge waste of time and not efficient in any way, shape, or form. After about 45 minutes I went to my bed to just lay down and relax. I went to get under my covers and in the process disturbed my cat who hissed and ran away. I discovered that the entire time she was laying on my phone. I was so glad I found it and am in a much better mood now.

My story is really coming along. I am getting close to the end of the story but I know I have to at least add another video blog and some more music. I enjoy making this because I have the ability to be another person without the true judgment of others. I hope everyone like my blog and really enjoys reading it.

I have always been the person who woke up before or as the sun came up. I dont know why, but I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to miss a lick of day. The only problem with my early bird situation, its not very often that I'm able to hang at sleep overs. I usually the first one sleep and I'm always getting pranked. When this happens, I always remember how I'll never miss a sunrise.

Tiresome... Life is tiresome.

Today was great until the end. I went to poetry and that was fun, we had this ode prompt and I started a poem:
Through all the cries of laughter from children playing in the water hydrant
Through neighbors driving around the block on their four wheelers
Through the roar of the train, speeding over its centipede legs that straddle the
street below
Through the complaining from my sister about WHATEVER we have to eat which is
all part of this complete breakfast
Through all the beautifully tragic,
all the awe-inspiring jubilance,
And through the amusement park of true grit that is our humanity,
I always count on the humble, honest rhythm of a workmen’s hammer
to put my mind at ease.

That feeling of repetition, of building something bigger than ourselves without
having to think about it
without asking for recognition
so admirable it pales in comparison to any man with a masters degree in social
work.
The most beautiful part is that you don’t know.
And you can be proud when you read this, but don't let it change you
Cause that's what keeps you beautiful.

You hold the sun on your back and the world on your shoulders
and that sweat that drips off your chin keeps us well oiled and functioning
that's what makes me salivate when I walk by, I just hope you stop long enough to
see me.
You make the word masculine look… so… good.

You keep your head pointed down, your eyes at your feet
but you never had to think to keep your head held high.
There’s a reason people walk small when in your presence
they’re afraid of you.
They’ll scoff and cross an el car just to get away from you
intimidated by what they’ve never known
Unfamiliar with the stench of real work.
But remember that real men sweat and only boys cry when they get filthy.
so if a stuck-up girl sticks her nose up at you
bring your salty funk covered self over here
I'll lick the dirt off your armpits
cause boy you deserve it

I still have a lot to do, it gets overly wordy and irritates me in a lot of places. But yeah so mostly my day was good until I got home and my neighbors came over. I have been dealing with a lot lately and a lot of people all year have been trying to tell me what is best for me, which mostly I can ignore but because this week and last were so bad it's getting to me a lot more. So my neighbors came over and asked me if I was still dating Sam, they said I should leave him cause it's been "too long" and all this stuff, I tried to ignore that. But then later on they were talking to me about like... whether or not I was going to become a lesbian at bryn mawr? Like they were like "Freda you never know you have to keep your mind open to these things." And I was just thinking... you... are such an asshole. My two neighbors are gay... so I guess that makes them think they have license to say these things to people? What the hell? Look I've dealt with people calling me a lesbian, or asking if I was, or calling me dyke or asking if I was a boy for a long long time, but I usually expect that from school and from the kids outside, not my own friends and neighbors or relatives. It's really bullshit and I'm really tired of it. So I tried explaining that no, I'm not going experiment, not because I'm not open but just because I'm simply not bi or lesbian. And they insisted that I wouldn't know this. And I'm like "Oh yes... I wouldn't know if my own self was attracted to females... but you would. Yes that makes a whole lot of sense. I even went with my normal comedic comeback which is that, if I was bi, I'd be out about it, because I'd get to have twice the sexual partner possibilities... but unfortunately I'm not. But not even that worked! So eventually they left me alone about that with a kind of "you'll figure it out" feeling about them. But so then later... my great uncle came over too and they were all asking me about what I want to do after college like as my job. I told them I wanted to be an english teacher. I held my breath. They all fucking freaked out "it's a waist of someone so smart" "a waste of a good mind" "you'll never make any money" "You're going to get burnt out" "you're going to be working with a ton of brats" "you are much smarter than that" "english teachers are a dime a dozen" Once again, just as before with the whole Sam thing. FUCK YOU. Seriously, fuck off. I'm tired of this shit so much. Ever since I decided I wanted to be a teacher everyone has been up in arms about it "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE AN ENGINEER!?" Yeah well I did my ILP at an engineering firm, voted best office to work at IN THE CITY and you know what, it fucking sucked. It was the most boring thing I've ever dealt with in my life. You know what else, I love English more than anything, I love books, I love writing, I love helping people, and now that I've been an SAT I fucking love teaching too, so shut the hell up. These people who tell me what to do about Sam or about my job? They have shitty jobs, they complain about them every day, and most of them haven't been in a relationship longer than 2 years even though they're like 40. I've been in one for over 3 and a half years and fought less then you in your lame ass 1 and a half year joke of a relationship ok? You know what else? Teaching is never going to be boring and I'm gonna have summers off and saturdays and so... whatever dude. Have fun working for AARP... losers.

​In quarter 3 I had many difficulties. I had already made up my mind that I couldn't draw and everything I did would come out horrible. My full body drawing was misplaced and That was my biggest accomplishment. I think the things I learned most this quarter was how to do shading and shadowing to make the most accurate drawing. Trying to portray realism was difficult because while drawing a persons already has a sense and idea of how they think that figure and or object looks like. I kept a repetitive saying in my head that Ms.Hull said to us she said" draw what you see not what you think is there." That is the only thing that kept me going in this project. My self portrait had to be the task that I used that saying the most. I kept saying I'm pretty sure that is what I look like, but turned out the final product looked nothing like me. I then started over and drew exactly what I seen, the project came out just the way I wanted it to, just like me. This quarter has been a challenge but I learned a lot from it that is the most beneficial.

Self Portrait Second edition 
My still life Photo
 


The very first realistic drawing of our hands. 

This is the first try to my self portrait. 

 

This is the large version on my bottle. This is the smaller version of a different bottle. 

It always seems like whatever manager I work with depends on how fast or slow time moves. Guess I should b prepared for a slow day tomorrow :/

We made a quick run to Cvs tonight, i'm in a strange and hyper place that may or may not be medicine or lack there of related. annnnyway I ended up sprinting past patricia at break neck speeds (did i say that right?) and she caught up with me later.

He looks better as a women!

My work represents me and how I try. As I know I might not be the best artis but I try my best and what separates me from a lot of people is that knowing that i am not good I still try. This that you see is what I was able to produce  

The first photo below was photoshopped to show that no one flower shines brighter than the other.