I made the slide like that because I was told it had to be about us so I took an image of what I love to do, playing video games. My reason why I chose the image does not matter and is not what this script is mostly about. The script is mostly about why I chose to design the image as it is. It has a bunch of color because as stated from one of the research pages we were allowed to go to “Color is the very first thing people will notice.” after reading that I took a bunch of text boxes and colored the background. I wrote what the picture means to me in big letters because that was also one of the statements from the research pages to not be a wimp and use big letters. I made below the big letters another line that is very small because I am quiet almost all the time so I wanted it to match me as well but the ! marks are way big so to me it seems I’m screaming my frustration to the world. I didn’t chose an image to “bleed” because if I did it would hide the name of the games and I didn’t want that. We are allowed to only change the slide after we post the scripts and slides on SLATE but I don’t know what to change if given the chance.
This is my slide. I chose to make the background yellow because yellow is my favorite color, and it gives the slide a soft-looking appearance. Here I wrote about a few of my interests and/or “likes”. Notice how I underlined Likes. I did this so it would add emphasis. If I were to leave it like the rest of the words, it would be hard to tell that that’s the aspect of the slide that I’m trying to focus on if that makes sense. I feel like this is a great way to describe who I am because it lists things that I enjoy. I decided to use a nice readable font because it gives the slide a simplistic vibe and balances out with the yellow. Now I have a list of a few of my hobbies. This reveals a lot about me because it shows what kind of things I like to do outside of school. I included this photo of me of me because I think it’s a nice picture and it flows with the rhythm of the slide while also adding contrast to the soft yellow with some bold colors. My slide is very calming in texture yet bold overall.
This is the slide that I created to represent who I am, and it took much adjusting to get it visually pleasing, and to make it understandable at a glance media. I wanted to demonstrate an implied line with the water-line, right where the water meets the trees in the image to the left. I also chose the image because it shows great depth within the space, because my body is centered in the middle-ground and makes it seem like there is a lot more both beyond and in front of me. As well as this, I wanted my body to be highly defined against the trees and water. I then tried to emphasize my use of space by presenting an image on the left of the slide, and large words on a white background to the right. Color was a large aspect of my slide design, because value is seen within the light blue hue of the water, and the dark green hue of the trees. There is also high and low intensity seen, with the contrast of a bright color of the water and a dull color of the trees. This image was the most ideal choice for the slide because it not only highlights my adventurous, care-free attitude, but it also has a strong feeling of texture among the rough-looking trees and splintered wood in the water. I chose to use small black tree drawings to contrast with the real green trees. This same contrast was also shown with the 3-dimensional shapes of the real trees and 2-dimensional shapes of the tree drawings. The real, tall trees also were a great use of form, because it enclosed a great measure of height against a smaller me. Lastly, the quote in bolded, large letters were a key element to the layout, because it emphasized the constant dreamer and explorer in me, just like the image taken of me walking through water. I chose to make the font very large, based on inspiration from the Slide Design for Developers Link. And I made the font color a nice soothing blue to go along with the color of the water. I’m pleased with this draft of my slide, because it uses all the elements of art and still shows who I am. In future edits, I hope to maybe edit the font or colors for more emphasizing. That’s all folks...hope you enjoyed my slide!
I made the slide the way it looks because well, it describes exactly who I am like when I put lines connecting to one big idea which is passion. Also the values of my color is mostly light blue which generally gives a cheery and happy vibe. I added the clouds and rainbow to show what the inside of my mind is like. I also added the charlie chaplin quote to show that I like to laugh and have a good time because,”A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Also I added shapes that are either rectangular or square to clearly identify what my passions are. The space of the slide is generally positive from having fun playing video games to getting inspiration from playing my sweet trumpet. My endnote is this I just like to get good grades and have fun.
I'm Charles Langley and I approve this message.
I researched how to make the pictures stand out that I wanted to put in my slide, and I focused on trying to make a contrast between each picture so that they all seemed unique but gave a collective message about who I am. I felt that leaving negative space was not who I was, so I decided to fill the whole slide with picture that represented big parts of my life. My life is cluttered in the way that I have a lot of different sides of my personality. I used the rule of thirds to make sure you see some of the topics that are important to my life. On the top left I represented one of the four big parts of my life that I chose to put on this slide. Television, which at first may not make sense to you, but it is one of the things that I hope to pursue in life. Music is on the bottom to bottom right corner and as some of you may know it is a huge part of my life. University of Michigan is represented on the top of the screen and that is a culture I have grown up with. The top right corner depicts one of my favorite video games, and is a symbol for the culture that is the video game industry.
The Slide I made gives an idea about what kind of person I am and associated with. The reason I made the slide the way it is is to grab someone's attention and leave them curious. The slide I made gives people the main idea, but the text adds a bit of curiosity. It gives how I act as a person and why I act these ways, but it gives one big point that just goes untouched. Great advertisements are the ones like movies, they give you a lot of information and a general idea, but there's always more to it. Stuff that's left unsolved that makes you want to see it. In my slide I tried to give that general idea while still focusing of who I am as a person. The way I designed my slide was to have the main attention grabbing statement be the biggest statement and be in a bright color. I also tried to arrange it by rule of threes putting it at the vertex of the top left of the middle quadrant. I also stretched and put my images at the other center vertices drawing attention to them and giving the reader something to look at and piece with the rest of the board. The only things that I wish I could improve upon would be a way for this to be remembered, something to stand out compared to others pieces or designs. The board itself is also to the point where there's to much text on it. If it was simplified keeping only one or at most two parts of the white text then it would be a more simplified board while still hopefully getting my main idea out. The problem with the slide is there is to much going on, If it was the only left half it would be a much better slide and representation with the exception of the text in the bottom left. The left shows the cool style and makes sure my main idea stands out in the biggest font that contrast to the background. The right side is unnecessary and makes the slide look cluttered and unappealing. When I make these projects about myself I regret them and always want to change them, I need to learn to just go through with things.
Before I created my slides, I researched the qualities of an effective slide as well as some common elements of design. There were many elements of design that I tried to include in my presentation. For one, I tried to use contrast to make the text pop against the background. The bright yellow and white stand out from the darker, cooler green of the background. I also tried to incorporate bleeding. The goldfish, cat, and ice cream all bleed off the slide. I incorporated symmetry with the placement of the christmas lights and text. I used big text to really bring attention to the purpose of the slide, and so it was easy to understand. I wanted to have a lighter color palate so all the colors used are bright or pastels. Next time, I would try and use the rule of 3 more, as well as add more contrast between the pictures and the background. The slide looks kind of messy, so I will use my space more effectively next time.
For my slide, I decided to leave a lot of open space. I think this leaves a good amount of room for interpretation about who I am. This was my intention because there are so many different aspects of my personality and there is no way to describe them all. I wanted my slide to have a light value, but still have contrast. I looked through the different color schemes on colour lovers, which was a sight recommended by Zach Holman who wrote the article about Slide Design for Developers. I wanted to use my favorite colors, so I put a sunset as my background. The sunset gives my whole slide a soft texture. This is also because I love nature. I took the photo myself too, and it shows that I like photography. I used white font for my name, because this created a nice balancing with the black trees bordering the photo. I centered my name so that it was the main focus of the slide. I added the words bold and musical because I believe those are words that describe me very well. At the bottom I made the font a peach color that matches the hues in the sky, creating harmony between the black bordering the sky. I put the words “With a love of art and beauty” at the bottom because I think that describes me in a good way. I love most aspects of art, anywhere from creative writing to singing and much more. As for beauty, I appreciate the beauty in nature but also in other people, and I also care a lot about my appearance. Overall, I believe that I told a lot about myself in one slide while still making it visually appealing and not overly-congested.
In the more ancient times of football, players like Diego Maradona, Edson Arantes do Nascimento, Johan Cruyf, and Edson Arantes do Nascimento, known as Pelé who is considered the greatest player in the history of football. These players have been considered icons not only for their unmatchable talent on the field but for their stories and inspiration on people with similar lives where things are not given to them. That being said nowadays soccer players still remain the most praised and talked about athletes in the world of sports. However, its for a different reason, players are playing football as a job rather than for passion. As a result, money has began to ruin the world of football, not only for poorer teams, but in the FIFA organization as well.
The debate over the corruption of the football world came to light soon after the 2014 FIFA World Cup.The scandal erupted in May, with a raid on a luxury hotel in Zurich and the arrest of seven Fifa executives. All of this was conducted at the behest of the US authorities and in December, 16 more officials were charged following the arrest of two Fifa vice presidents in at the same hotel in Zurich. Former Brazil football federation chief Ricardo Teixeira was among those accused of being "involved in criminal schemes involving well over $200m (£132m) in bribes and kickbacks". Then in May the US indicted 14 current and former Fifa officials and associates on charges of "rampant, systemic, and deep-rooted" corruption following a major inquiry by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).
Fifa is the body responsible for running world football. It has recently been dogged by accusations of corruption, particularly after awarding the 2022 World Cup to the tiny but rich and influential Gulf state of Qatar. This is important to know because it affects the nation’s full of fans who will be expecting their team to perform, however this league simply cannot be trusted due to bribes, and behind the scene deals, no one will know for sure which team really deserves what. Does winning the most praised tournament in the world have the same sensations when you’re able to cheat your way to the top.The World Cup is the most watched sporting event in the world, larger even than the Olympics. In 2010, 3.4 billion people watched the World Cup soccer championship, according to Forbes. The 2014 championship in Brazil was the most-watched televised event in many countries. In Germany, more than 34 million people watched the match between Germany and Argentina.World Cup matches account for nine of the 16 most-watched programs ever in Germany. In Portugal, World Cup matches are five of the top 16 TV programs ever. It generates billions of dollars in revenue from corporate sponsors, broadcasting rights and merchandising. Even the trophy itself has value of 10 million USD which doesn’t even include the fact that the trophy itself is made of 18k gold which has a value of 29k USD. Which generally means that whichever national team wins the tournament not only gets the pleasure of being praised by their nation, but another 10 million USD trophy which is ideally what the new corrupt managers aim for. These arrests and investigations cast doubt over the transparency and honesty for the process of World Cup tournaments, electing its president, and the administration of funds, including those earmarked for improving football facilities in some of Fifa's poorer members.
Heyo, my name is Nasya. I made my slide look like this because it showed the things I Iike. I have my dog in my slide and my turtle and on the right corner you can see my sister and my dog together. I also added little thing that I like like the unicorn, totoro, ponyo and shiba inu. And in my me magazine I talked about my Youth group also and they are in the top left corner. In my slide I tried to catch people's attention in my slide, I tried added a variety of colors. I also added different sizes in the slide, different fonts, there is also movement in my slide. I was really eager to my this slide because I can show you a little piece of my life.
I did it...I actually did it… I actually did it! I mean, I don’t know how, but I did it. I guess all of that studying really paid off! I’ll have to remind myself to go and thank Liz for those notes! I seriously couldn’t have done it without her! The only real reason I passed was her. I’m not even remotely as smart as her.
She really is great. I mean... it’s no wonder she has so many friends. No, no, no, this is not about Liz. This isn’t about Liz and her smartness, or how pretty she is, or how nice she is to everyone....how skinny she is and how all her clothes fit her nicely, or even about how all of those guys seem to just always want her, or-
It’s not about any of those things. Shit, why am I mad at Liz? She was just being nice. God, I gotta stop. This is about me...how I passed the test. So what if she helped me? I mean, I was the one who took the test, not her. It’s not like I cheated! I just got some help...and help is...okay. It’s fine to get help sometimes.
Yeah, right….help. Of course I needed help, I mean, when do I not. I’m practically fucking useless in class anyway. I never pay attention, I can never ask questions because that’s too freakin’ stressful. I mean, it’s terrifying! I can’t handle that kind of attention on me. What if I ask a really dumb question? How freaking embarrassing would that be? That would just show everyone just how fucking dumb I really am, hah…
Look at me having a pity party for myself. I can’t believe how selfish I am. There are people who have it so much worse than I do, and I’m complaining? Wow, what gives me the right to be sad anyway? I should just...stop. God, I am just so...ridiculous. I’m always sad for no reason, like what the hell even is that? Every little thing makes me upset; even if someone even raises their voice at me. I mean, hell, I probably deserve it.
I probably do deserve it. I mean...look at me. All I ever do is complain; I’m selfish, I’m senseless, and I’m practically irrelevant. I’m moronic, I’m careless; all I ever do is let everyone down. I’m bitter, I’m pathetic, I’m inadequate. I can’t do anything right, I can’t even ask my teachers to go to the bathroom half the time! !
Alex?Huh I wonder…
“hey i know you've been really sad and stuff so i thought we'd go out to lunch tomorrow? idk, if you feel up to it. good job on your test today! i knew you could do it! ily, hon! stay strong!”
...I...you know what, what am i doing? I'm completely overreacting. Getting help is…okay. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know what i was thinking. Heh...I guess I still haven't beat my demons huh?
“Hmm what do I still need to do today?”
“Ughh, why can’t I think? Hmmmmm.”
“Ohh that’s right, I still need to go food shopping, and I still have to drop that sweater off at Jack’s house, hmmmm homework, laundry, cleaning my room, blaah blaah.”
“Ughh I’m so tired? Why do I always have so much to do,? I just want a break.” (Sigh)
“I'm writing a letter to you (laugh), even though I know you're never going to receive it but I'm just going to update you on the things that have been happening so far In my life. I wish you were here it would've been different, not (hesitates)-hard, I miss you so much you can’t imagine..and-and sophomore year now, uhh it's crazy!”
“The days are flying by so fast. I still remember the day we were applying for middle schools you and I and now here, IN high school already.”
“It sucks, it really does!”
The amount of homework you get! It bothers me that I have such a big responsibility not only in school, but at home as well.
I feel like they think after school from 3:00 to whatever time I go to bed is all for homework, it isn’t, I need to take a nice long nap once I get back from school A BREAK and I wake up until really late and then there's all this homework I have to do ughhh
Life and school can be exhausting and being a teenager I know you never got to teenager but it sucks.
They think that I - (hesitate) Well teenagers are soooo bad but really it's not like that being a teenager is just stressful I don't understand what can we do that's so bad when all we want is to take a break it's not like we can go anywhere Where just stressed and want a nap and a break from everything and we have a bunch of homework so we can't do anything anyways
And on top of all of it they never trust you and blame your phone for everything like “I'm hungry” that's because of your phone then they just make you hate yourself for even talking in the first place and TO BE HONEST this is 100% accurate to all teenagers all they really want is a bowl of popcorn and watching Netflix and curled up on the couch with a blanket even when our friends texted us saying hey do you want to hang out “I'm really busy today” But we actually arnt were laying on our bed watching a movie. That's all we really want is a break and for everyone to stop thinking that teenaghers make stupid decsions and are reckless and cannot be trusted. That’s in the movies but in reality it's not true at all more and more reasons why i’m so stressed and don't even get me started on boy problems ughhhh so confusing but so far my day sucks just like every other day so i’m kind of used it and I… (Cut off)
okaaayy…. (Confused/scared feeling)
“probably just a little bump, no big deal”
“I mean they're just a little scared because we weren’t expecting it, Right ?”
(Because everyone looks scared)
“Okayyyy…. Um, what just happened?”
“Why are the lights getting dimmer?” Ahhh (holding on)
“What’s going on?”
“OH MY GOD, What’s happening?”
“What's going on I can’t see anything”
“OH MY, T-Tthe lights are off!”
“COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE ?!”
“It stopped” (surprised happy)
“It stopped, it actually stopped”(everybody gets quiet)
They're going to save us they are
(low) they are
I guess a day could get a little better (smiles)
Make sure you call me when you get home. I don’t know why you didn’t let my mom drive you,Said my friend.
It’s cool, and I’ll call you as soon as my foot touches my front step. I promise.
Before I locked my phone, I saw the red low battery at the top of my screen. 20 percent. Why the hell didn’t I charge my phone when I had a chance to. Now it’s about to die, and I need to get home. I just need to walk past the Mcdonald's on Oregon Avenue to get the G bus. The only thing is, I don’t know where I am now. This is actually my first time on this side of South Philly. I never stay out this late. Especially in unknown neighbourhoods, I should know better than that. At least I had fun, I haven’t seen my friends in a long time. They do say, time goes faster when you’re having fun, right? 18 percent.The street signs blended into the darkness of the night. I couldn’t even read the letters. It took me minute or so to realize I was about 8 blocks down from where I needed to be. Great. If I had charged my phone I could use siri, but I need to preserve as much battery as I can. I need to think more, mom would kill me if she knew I let my phone die like this. Speaking of, let me tell her I am on my way home.
Hey mom, everything is all good. I am heading home now, ttyl.
I hope she replies before my phone dies.
Where are you? Said my mom, her text message lit up my phone. Almost as a beacon, for my journey ahead.
I'm heading toward 12th and Oregon to catch the bus now, I have to walk through a few neighborhoods.
She replied, Ok be careful. Please call when you get on the bus.
Oh wow, I walked four blocks already? This isn’t so bad. The streetlights on this side of the street are getting dimmer though, so I should probably cross over.
Hey you nigger! Get out of our neighborhood, before we have to force you out. Your kind isn’t welcomed around here.
Who is he talking to? He isn’t talking to me right? Is there anyone else walking besides me? I turned a round, and saw a group of tall men on the corner of a pub. They’re probably drunk.
Yeah keep on, somebody watch her and make sure she doesn’t disappear into the night.
Are I would have never thought of hearing this outside of a Hollywood Movie! I thought of saying something, but my body kept moving forward. He really just called me that. So much for times have changed, “We Are the World” bullcrap! You know what, why don’t I say something back? I’ll shut him down real quick. I tried to gather the words to say, but my mind blocked me from putting them together. My brain was like an intense game of scrabble. Why couldn’t I twist words off the tip of my tongue, and hurt this man’s pride like he did mine? The word kept repeating in my mind, like a broken record in a way taunting me. WHY COULDN’T I SAY ANYTHING! I realized, I could never stoop down that low. To judge someone for something they cannot change, is not who I am. The difference between him and I is
I’m not even gonna give this racist the time of day. The bus stop is right down the block. To avoid this, I’ll just hurry along before this escalates. I hear a commotion, are they following me? I’m already on my way, Leave me alone! There goes the bus, I need to run. Running seems like the only way to escape the harassment. I ran to the bus, swiped my pass and I smiled to my bus driver. I pulled out my phone to text my mom, 5 percent.
Mom, I’m on the bus. Man do I have a story to tell you.
“What? What? I’m up mommy! I’m up”
“What do you mean get dressed?”
(Looks at the clock)
“Mom it’s 12 in the morning. Where the hell are we going? Why the hell are we going to my uncle’s house?”
“Ok give me 5 minutes”
(Gets in the car)
“Mom, I have school tomorrow...well, later.”
“Mommy! Are you crying?”
“Oh okay. I thought you were crying.”
She was definitely crying, right? No. Mommy is always happy, mommy is always smiling. She’s never sad.
“Hey uncle Aziz!”
“I’m good how are you?”
“Oh okay. Is he going to school tomorrow?”
“Okay. I think I'm going to sleep now, I’m really tired. Goodnight!”
“Wait why are we going to Eritrea?”
“Why are they yelling?”
“Mommy. Where are we going?”
“What do you mean we’re going to Eritrea?”
“Mommy, it’s january, I have school, not that I want to go, I’m just reminding you that the summer hasn’t arrived yet.”
“Okay! Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah I have everything.”
“Wait why are we going to Eritrea?”
“I know a lot about our culture. I know about Jesus christ, I know how to speak Tigrinya, I know injera, I know everything.”
“Now we’re going to eat injera everyday in Eritrea!”
“Yeah, I really like injera.”
“Grandma makes the best injera!”
“Is daddy coming with us?”
“Is he sick?”
“Is he going to go with us on our other vacations”
“Will he come visit us?”
“When are we coming back?”
“Mommy, I have school though.”
“I have to take the PSSA, and in fourth grade, we take English, Math, Science, and writing, so I have to take them.”
“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school in Eritrea!”
“I don’t know how to speak Tigrinya that good.”
“Mommy, why can’t daddy go to Eritrea with us?”
“He can work in Eritrea too.”
“Why are you crying?”
“Yes you are!”
“Mommy, I’m so confused.”
“What is happening?”
“So why are you crying if we’re going to Eritrea? Don’t you like Eritrea? All of your family live there. You should be happy!”
“Ohh, tears of joy!”
“I was so confused!”
“Haha, ok I understand now.”
(gets on airplane)
“Mommy, can I sit on the big massage chair.”
“Can I sit next to the window?”
“Ok. Can I watch a movie first.”
“Just one then I promise I’ll sleep.”
“Thank you mommy.”
(gets off airplane and gets his bag)
“I missed you so much!”
“Uncle Hagos! Aunt Hiyab!”
“Where are Nigisti and Michael?”
“Yeah I remember them. Nigisti, Michael, Massawa, Russam, and Saba are my favorite cousins!”
“I can’t wait to see them!”
(gets in the car and is on his way to the house.)
“Hi, how are you?”
“Hey what’s up?”
“How’s it going?”
“There are so many people here!”
“Yeah, I was planning on sleeping in a little bit anyway, but since tomorrow is Saturday, can I play with Russam and the others?”
“Mommy, where’s my toothbrush?”
“Good Morning Michael!”
“Let’s go get Nigisti, Russam, and Saba so we can play tag!”
“Ok I’ll go tell Russam!”
“Oh I think I hear him in that room!”
(Listening to his mother, aunts, uncles, and grandparents taking in the room)
“Wait does that mean I won’t ever see daddy again?”
“Is that why mommy was crying?”
“Is that why we came to Eritrea?”
“Does daddy not love me and mommy anymore?”
“Why a divorce?”
“Am I ever going to see my dad again?”
I used glance media as you can see because when you look at this slide, right away you can see what it is about. I used pink and black because those 2 colors contrast with each other. Within the pictures I tried to make sure I stuck with my color palette. I wanted to keep it modern because I not a fan of really bright colors. The white around my picture kind of threw it off. My picture is mostly the only thing that isn't the color palette but it is some what similar. The camera adds design because for me the thing that stands out for me is the camera because it is in the center of the slide. I tried to make sure I didn't have a lot of empty space because it wouldn't look right. Something else noticeable on the slide is the sneakers. That was on purpose because I love sneakers! The volleyball basically sets the whole slide because it is very bright in the upper corner.
On this slide you will notice It’s pictures with words underneath. But if you look closely you will notice there’s a color pattern with my words. For example the words LANDO, PHOTOGRAPHER, SUPPORTIVE are grey and ENGINEERING, and DEPRESSION are white. I had put these colors together because they went right with my background and made my pallet perfect. Now as you can notice my images are large and “bleed” off the edges of the end of each other and shows that they ain’t all the way solid. My pictures bleed because they have action to each of them and it wouldn’t fit all the way for example my Sneaker picture I took of my phone “bleeds because i only to show my shoe brand because I love Vans. My supportive team for autism the last picture to the right is bleeding because you can tell there’s more people because the girl face is almost cut off to fit. Finally the last thing I would like you to notice is that I have 5 words and 5 pictures because Each word goes with one picture. For example the Depression word goes with my grandpa because i wrote on my me magazine and stated that “my grandpa death had been a major problem for me because it caused me to go into a depression stage. Than I added the picture of the brand of my sneaker is for photographer because i take pictures that entertain me or i just want to because I was bored.
When you think about Netflix what do you think about? Mean girls or Jane the Virgin? When I think about Netflix I think about Pretty little liars and The 100. I think about all the great movies and Television shows they have. I think about The Vampire Diaries and Dexter. These are my favorite shows that interest me. I’ve recently discovered The 100, and it’s amazing! I can understand their struggles and their sacrifices. It’s amazing what people can do with their imagination.
I chose to make the background picture a road because usually an open road symbolizes that you can go anywhere and do anything. I feel that way about Netflix. Netflix has a variety of different shows and movies. It can take you anywhere from American Horror Story to How I Met Your Mother. If you’re in love with Vampires like I am, watch The vampire Diaries or The Originals. I personally like The Vampire Diaries more than The Originals, but it’s whatever you like.
“Unlimited Netflix shows for the unlimited Netflix watcher.” These words are very powerful. Obviously Netflix is the unlimited shows, and I’m the Unlimited Netflix watcher. I chose to write this in the order that it’s in because it just seems so cool like that. It seems like I’m a (as my dad says) pokemon master. Replace the pokemon part with Netflix, and I’m a Netflix master. This basically means that I’m a master in watching Netflix shows/movies. As I said in my Me Magazine, I’ll always be there for Netflix, and Netflix will always be there for me.
Why are you doing this to yourself? You’re my best friend and I’m not going to let you put all of your energy towards some boy. He pays no attention to you and you keep pouring your heart out to him.
Stop telling yourself this. He is clearly entertaining other girls. At the end of the day I’m always the one you come running to when Josh isn’t responding and doesn’t want to talk to you. That seems to be the only time you’ve been talking to me lately.
You keep saying that. No, you haven’t been busy, you’ve just taken all of your time and put it towards him. I just can’t understand why you’re doing this.
I know you have work and school, I have to do just as many things as you do but I always make sure I check up on you and see how you’re doing. Not once have you checked up on me Sofia. Every time we talk it has to be about him. It's never about me or how I am doing. Your life revolves around him.
No, I don’t have an issue with you coming to me for help. You can always come to me with whatever you need. I just don’t like that fact that it's never about you or what you need, I want to know how you’re doing and what has been going on in your life, not what he has been doing. You deserve better. He is clearly causing so many problems in your life.
You think I’m jealous of you? That is not what this is about. I have no need to be jealous of you obsessing over someone like him. I don’t even know why you would say something like that.
I am the one causing issues? Do you not realize what he is doing to you? You should be on my side right now but you’re deciding to choose a boy over our friendship. Do our 8 years of friendship not mean anything to you Sofia? Do I not mean anything to you? For the past 3 months he’s used you for his own convenience. He talks to you when you’re there, and when you’re not, he moves on to the next girl. You’re just too absent minded to realize it. You get distracted by anything he does and it makes you forget about everyone else around you.
This isn’t about jealousy or anything like that, this is about your health. I am not going to let you continue down this path. If you trusted me and valued my opinion as a “best friend” you would not be sitting here thinking I would approach you about this because of jealousy.
If you honestly think this low of me then I don’t know if we can make this friendship work anymore. Josh has changed you entirely and you’re not the same person I thought I’d known for 8 years.
I am trying to say that if you don’t value my opinion in this situation and you want to choose him over our friendship then so be it.
How are you going to make it up to me? There is no way to fix how I’ve been feeling these past 3 months without you. Something like this that has been happening for this long can’t be fixed over a trip to the mall or taking me to the movies. You can’t just throw money at a situation and make it better. You have no consideration for how I feel.What do you mean why am I walking away? I’ve already said how I feel, and if you can’t change, then just don’t involve me in any of this. I hope he was worth it.
Its 1980. My names Jamal and I'm 16 year old black man. I'm busy as hell and 6’5 and I live in North Philly… pretty much the hood. I'm living in a world where it seems everyone is a G. Where everyone's a Thug and packing heat. Its pretty common to hear about gang warfare and gang violence and territorial disputes and a lot of times you'll hear shoot outs and drive bys and it's almost an every night thing to hear police sirens in the distance. I live life one day at a time and honestly life is rough. I need to put some money on the table so i'm out here slangin dope, my dad left me and my mom, my mom has resorted to drugs to deal with stress and to top of the cake i'm in a gang that I don't even know I want to be in. Now yeah, in my own ways and just my personality I have been called as a thug and been compared to one but i've never been in a gang. I've always just flown solo, just the lone wolf. But now I have been associated with people who are in one of the biggest gangs in town. They are my friends in school who brought me in but now that I actually see what they’re doing, see what life they’re living.I don't know if I want in anymore. There was not initiation that I had to do to get in and yeah if you're in a gang you have people who have your back and who are ride or die, But this might just be too much. But at the same time this is pretty much all I know. I was basically raised by the streets and the streets are what helped me put food on the table and keep money in my pockets. The one thing I could always count on was my music. But even my music gave me reasons to be a G or not to be. My favorite artist Like Eazy-E, Tupac, Big L, Big Pun, and Biggie Smalls were all Gangsta rappers and Eazy- E was in a gang himself and they're all very successful so why shouldn't I be like them? I've always been good with words, beats and rhymes. Maybe I can have the same outcome as them. Not only their success but their music and lyrics speak to me. They give reasons to want to live the thug life but I have to remember that throughout a lot of their music the express emotions on the life they live like in a lot of Tupac's music he expresses the struggles that the black race and young black males have to deal with like in his songs Changes, Me Against The world, and Ambitionz az a Ridah or in Biggie’s song “Juicy” Music is pretty much where I go to think and it helps my mind find answers but this time i dont think its working. The only thing I could think of was to just stop all this completely and start trying to be a rapper but I have no idea if i'd even get that chance to be big. I also have to worry about my reputation out here. Reputation can mean everything out here in the streets. But there's a part of me who likes the liv i'm living but I liked the life as a lone wolf the best. Make me feel like I can relate to Tupac's song “Me against the world”. If i'm in a gang that just ups my chances of getting poped out here by rival gangs flamin gats because of something some other people in my gang did. I can't have that happen. I just hope for whatever i decide I make the decision fast before it's too late and im not around to make that choice anymore.
(The pace of this monologue is a bit fast on purpose because the character has these nerve wracking thoughts going through her head)
Ok, just take deep breaths.
(Inhales and exhales deeply, while sitting in front of a mirror)
Everything is fine.
(She looks at her reflection intently, before she begins to talk to herself again)
Omg I just need to calm down.
Look at yourself, you're such a strong, beautiful girl, calm down, focus on your breathing.
Everything will be fine.
Ugh, maybe I just keep telling myself that in vein.
(She runs her hand through her hair in frustration)
(Have air quotes for the phrases that have quotation marks)
There is honestly no way things are going to get better. I’m just going to have to go through this pain on my own, but that’s what I get for being too scared of letting other people know about my stupid struggles. Too scared of letting people in just to find that they don’t actually care or that they don’t think that anxiety is an actual thing because “Everyone gets stressed” or “Everyone gets nervous at one point or another”, but just because they can’t see the constant racing thoughts that go on in my head doesn’t mean that I’m not having a mental war everytime I try to convince myself that I don’t have to worry about what people think about me and that I don’t have to lose weight or change my face to please the standards that are set for girls.
(she says the next line like she is trying to convince someone that it's true, so kind of with a desperate tone of voice)
But I’m not really alone….
I mean Nick seems to be really understanding of the situation and has even tried to help me as much as possible. Oh gosh, but what if he’s just trying to get me to tell my parents about what’s going on because he no longer wants to have to deal with me constantly going to him and crying about my problems that really have nothing to do with him. Or maybe he’s even regretting asking me to be his girlfriend because of this.
(short pause so that she can cover her face with her hands in frustration)
Yeah I bet that’s what’s going on. I mean he’s probably right, the only way to make things better is going to be by telling my parents.
Well they’re actually home for once.
So maybe now is a good time to talk to them.
(She stares out into space for a bit and starts talking with sadness in her voice)
But, they look so happy.
How can I possibly just break the news to them that their only child gets constant anxiety attacks and self harms?
(air quotes on sleep)
That the only reason I go to sleep early is so that I can be alone in my room to let physical pain overtake the mental one and that the times that I’ve been close to making a fatal decision are more than I can count on my fingers.
How can I possibly explain to them that the reason I would avoid family brunch was because I wanted to go without eating each weekend because 115 pounds just doesn’t seem to be a low enough weight?
(her voice starts to really get nervous and scared)
No, oh gosh no, and what if they make me see some sort of therapist who will just assume they can help me because they have some sort of degree.
What if they think I need to go to some mental health institution.
No that can’t happen.
I’ll be fine, I can make it on my own.
I can’t do it, I can’t tell them about this.
I just can’t